Talking to Myself

Everyone has to believe in something; everybody clings to an idea as to why things are the way they are. I got into a discussion today about God and the future and the things we can’t change in life and it set off a complete train of thought in my head. Some believe that God puts you where you are and He is in control of your life. Others believe we decide our fate and destiny. But what is the truth? What puts us where we are right now?

If I really am being guided by something or someone else, then does that mean wherever I am in life is the right place for me since someone else put me here? Or does something or someone simply have a plan for me and it’s up to me to either follow that path or choose a different one?

Either way, a question came into my head: I don’t know if where I am is where I’m supposed to be. I have no idea if any of the decisions I make are the right ones.

That’s pretty scary to me.

Am I supposed to be somewhere else right now? Should I be doing different things with different people? There is nothing worse than having a question with no answer. But I guess I’m not in a bad place right now; I’m actually in a pretty good one. I have friends and a family that love me and a job and a home and that’s a lot more than a lot of other people can say. So maybe I’m not where I’m supposed to be right now. Because maybe “where I’m supposed to be” isn’t a real place.

Maybe nobody is supposed to be anywhere. You just make the decisions that make you happy, or at least you should make the decisions that make you happy, and then you follow that path to wherever it leads you. I think you’re just supposed to follow a path and as long as you don’t end up in a bad place then you’re in a good place. So who cares if it’s not where you’re technically “supposed” to be as long as you don’t end up regretting where you are then you should learn to appreciate where you are. Right?

I don’t know, I’m just a 19-year-old trying to figure out life. But I’ve come to learn that life is all about perspective. And sometimes the answers we need are in us all along, we just needed to look from a different perspective in order to find them.

So we should keep looking; we should be constantly searching for new perspectives and new ideas and new reasons to explain why we are the way we are. So that when a question we think has no answer appears, we know where to look and how to give ourselves the answer we need. I’ll never figure out life and maybe I’ll never end up where I’m “supposed” to be; but I think if I can figure out who I am and figure out how to be honest with myself, then life should just fall into place.

And I’ll end up where I need to be.